The Big Announcement

(As seen on the blog for "The Fallen Shadow")

Anyone who is near to me or has heard me speak on length about my books, already knows how dear the Midian Saga is to my heart. Though I have many stand-alone books and series in the works, Midia is special and unique from them. In fact, I am so devoted to this series, that I promised myself I would never let anyone else touch them. I wanted them to be MINE, forever and completely. I was determined to be the writer, cover artist, publisher, and distributor. I even had a business plan for opening a distribution company for the series after the opening trilogy, "Faiden Reborn", was published as a box set. I was going to seek traditional publication for all of my other books and series, but this one, THIS ONE, was going to be completely mine.

This week, something changed.

I started doing daily affirmations in the morning, trying to channel my mind toward understanding and reaching my goals. A few days after beginning this 15 minute exercise, I had a strange dream. I have been told by many that my dreams are odd, since I never dream I'm myself and often dream I am an entirely different sex, race, or even just an omniscient watcher. Most of my dreams involve convoluted, epic adventures with dozens of characters. Sometimes they take place on earth, but most often take place in mystical or even sci-fi settings. Why am I saying this? Because on the exceptionally rare occasion when I dream I'm MYSELF in MY life, I try to listen. I have always felt that these were messages from my subconscious brain to pay attention to whatever it was trying to illustrate. I few days after starting my morning affirmations, I dreamt that I was myself. I was sitting in my small study (I don't own a study in real life), writing one of the books from the Midian Saga, and deliberating in my head my plans for the series from a publication standpoint. My husband came in as if I had sent for him and I looked up and told him the decision I'd come to after many hours of debate: "I have decided to seek traditional publication for the Midian Saga."

That's it. That was the dream. But since I was me, doing what I love to do in a room I plan to someday own... it caught my attention. I spent the rest of the week thinking about what it meant, though the message seemed clear enough. So I genuinely considered seeking representation for the Midian Saga for the first time since I began writing "Quietus" in early '09. What would it mean for the series? What would I have to give up if I did? What were the pros and cons? I literally wracked myself for days, trying to find the answer that my subconscious brain already had. The question: What does traditional publication have to offer that is so virtuous that I would give up my vice-like grip on Midia?

Finally, the answer came immediately after a morning affirmation. Like a flash of light, I suddenly saw what had been vexing me about my plan from day one.

I had always imagined that I would publish dozens of books with various publishers over the years, and the steadily growing Midian Saga would lend me credibility as well as gain credibility from my other works. I knew that no matter what happened, what turn my life and career took, I would continue to publish one book in the Midian Saga a year until 2030. It was a brilliant and sentimental plan, one that I was quite set on until my moment of clarity. I was looking at the books like a business woman who wanted her way or the highway, not as an artist.

What I've always wanted for the Midian Saga was what I had growing up. I wanted it to touch people, to shape their lives like the books I read in high school shaped mine. I wanted people to laugh and cry as I did when I wrote them, and confess that the Midian Saga was an unforgettable part of their lives. I wanted what I had gotten from so many great fiction authors in my adolescence. I wanted them to touch people... as many as possible. But if I kept my brilliant plan, the Midian Saga would become the good but illusive books of a successful artist that were very difficult to attain. They would become the 'other' books of Kimber Grey. I never wanted that. I didn't want these books to be hard to find. I wanted them on bookshelves, in bookstores, and translated into a dozen other languages. I wanted them to be worn from reading on a library shelf, a gem found in the bottom of a clearance box a second-hand store.

I decided it was worth giving up complete editorial control. It was worth surrendering the cover art and 'final cut'. It was worth sacrificing my pride and stubbornness... just to give Midia the chance it deserved.

So, my big decision: Starting this week I am seeking representation for myself and my beloved saga. I am ready to face the trails of seeking traditional publication. And until Midia is picked up by a publisher who will give it to the masses, I will continue to self-publish one book a year without fail.

To many of you, this will seem like a simple and reasonable choice, but to those of you who know my heart, you know what a difficult choice this has been for me. I am literally handing my baby over to a stranger and hoping they don't hurt it.

~Kimber Grey