Wednesday, December 29, 2010

This Means No Fear Cavalier

Reinventing yourself is a difficult, monumental task. It is not unlike rebuilding a boat in which you are adrift. Every piece you remove responds with a torrent of water and a resounding rebuke from the overall structure. It takes twice as much energy to replace what you've removed, and in the end undoing what you did seems easier. One step forward... two steps back.

In this ridiculous battle of repetition and loss, you are your own enemy. You know your foe's weaknesses, but, of course, your enemy knows yours as well. Two perfectly matched opponents with equal will, one to remain unchanged, the other to evolve. Nothing shy of the 'end of the world as you know it', makes it easier to gain the upper hand.

This is my New-Year's aspiration: to evolve into a better creature. The battle has been underway for a decade, reaching a staggering high these past few months. I know in the center of me that simply 'knows', that I must succeed in this or I will never reach my lofty goals. My very dreams are at stake, that which has kept me strong and striving. Another year is too long. No more "Next Year…". If I don't change, I do not think I could accept another 365 days of disappointment.

I strike at the heart of my enemy with voracity and desperation. I will be victorious. Kimber of Old, put up your best defenses, but I will overwrite you.

It is the end of the world as I know it.

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